Does a drink dispel the realities of life? Does it hold in it something true and alive, although it can create a death? It soothes and evaporates emotion and gives light to emotions you may not recognize. It can allow you speak the truth, or hide behind it with a perfect excuse of the lies that escape our lips under intoxication. How valuable it can be, yet dangerous. 

It should console us to be able to escape from life's mistreatment, but instead, being labeled an alcoholic is a severe problem as well. So your escape becomes your problem and the whole world seems cyclical again. All is then right with the world? Sarcasm and ill humor are other ways to deal with problems, however those pose the subsequent problem of social retardation. Nothing to be laughed at if you are the one actively causing it. Making others uncomfortable and all. Not good. So how else do we deal, or cope with our issues? Avoiding everyone and everything seems applicable, however the deescalation of relationships is neither helpful nor conducive to rehabilitation. 

Each solution, seeming to be, causes and equal and opposite reaction that has the potential to be just as detrimental as the original problem had been. This begs the question, if normal everyday remedies to problems are not actual solutions then without the aid of professional help, is it possible for people to solve their own problems? Obviously, problems like how am I going to get to work? Or Which school should I choose? Those are easily distinguishable as problems with an answer. But coping, understanding and reactions are tougher to find a solution to and most often are the things we dwell on most. 

The support of loved ones, whether they be friends or family, can often console a dizzying intellect. However, outside perspective can not always correct something that it doesn't fully understand or has lived through. Therefore, we are at an impass with this world and the solutions that we seek. Which brings me to my final point. 

Buddhist believe in the four noble truth which discern:

life mean suffering

the origin of suffering is attachment

the cessation of suffering is attainable

the path to cessation is suffering

As a lay person in the field I see that there is no excuse of this always untimely instance where we suffer. However, the immediate understanding as to why suffering is caused may allude us to a more appropriate level of that suffering. In turn create us a way to escape that is without attachment to a new sin or distraction. If you are concerned with a relationship with a boy and stress about his every move than you are attached. Love without attachment is based on the principle that you are concerned for the other's well-being without selfish interest. This is obviously hard to obtain or maintain. Attachment exaggerates other good qualities and makes us crave to be with them. Attachment is linked to expectations of what other should be or do. Although, this relates to romantic relationships, is it not applicable to friendships as well? 

To continue, for the purpose of explaining this unpopular thought in western America, we look at a person for the qualities in which they pertain to helping us or have qualities which we (or possibly society) value. So if society deems that a Bachelor's education, a car, and high end apartment are qualities to look for in a man we might attach to these and make them ours. Or if because of his connections we are able to buy the big house and drive the Mercedes Benz, then they are helping us and that is attachment also. So how to we separate and control the feelings of attachment? We work toward it. Each day attempting to pursue the rule of giving in love rather than receiving. If we are not bound by our expectations of others than we can love unconditionally and that good karma will lead us away from suffering. Then it will be a true relationship dependent o none but the true attributes of the individual. This is the goal. A goal which is hard and difficult to get to, but with constant attention might be attainable. However, this does not mean that a relationship will work. It does however mean that you have learned how to love in a positive way and a release from some of the suffering that is felt. 

Mr. Mysterious is a perfect example of attachment and the constant struggle of attachment that I feel is beginning to wane. It is beginning to wane due to the separation and progress I have attempted to procure. By allowing the space between us lengthen and the feelings of neediness dissipate I am feeling more like myself, and less like his beck and call girl. Acknowledging that his needs are not the only ones to be met. Enjoying someone's company for just who they are, and finally accepting their flaws and imperfections in a consistent and un-denying manner has caused great relief. Not to say that in any way I am cured of attachment to this person, or that I am in any way stronger than anyone else but I am just as eager to try and learn. 

NEW DOG VS. OLD DOG

What happens when fear strangles the relationship? I'm with Mr. Mysterious and everything is going so well. But at the same exact time, it is going so poorly. He is wonderful at creating the solidity of the relationship. For instance, the puppy and bringing his daughter over during the week. So I feel "so secure". However, I started to realize that I have been so attached to him. So dependent on him, the complete opposite of what I usually find myself doing. Or what I hate other woman for doing. I felt the need for some space, some freedom to deal with the mess I'm in all by myself. What am I afraid of? Obviously Mr. Mysterious leaving. His distance, although justified, is not only him putting up walls it is also me moving them to a more comfortable distance from me.  I can't be this person, who is so dependent on a man. So needy and wanting. 

Because of the need to have a car ride early in the morning, and the lack of positivity in my life, I needed something. Desperately. When Mr. Mysterious didn't pull through (Due to bro-pro support necessity) I had limited opportunities left. 

I happen to be in a need  of someone. It happened to end up being the last guy that stole my heart, Mr. Man. I played my cards, and had to put myself out there to allow him to respond. Not emotionally of course, however, I had to tell him what I had done. Keep in mind, I didn't need him, just a ride, and therefore, I had a need.  

Now, and experiment is in progress. Does the new guy care that the old guy is coming to the rescue? Nope, hopefully just because he is secure in his idea of our relationship. In reality, the experiment is still pending. 

TERMS OF AGREEMENT

They say that getting a dog, or any other pet, with a man is a test to the relationship's possibility of children. If your man already has a child, what does that say about your relationship? You have a pet, but the mother of the child has the child with him, so technically it is not a test run. He's already been there. With someone else. Not the point. 

The point is, however, that the dog is supposed to be a way into something greater. What is greater if everything that a girl wants he has already had with someone else? Except marriage of course (but they definitely talked about it, I'm sure). So you have the dog, the current man (post traumatic stress), the company and everything, but do you encompass his hopes and dreams. Or are you just an escape from the reality of the fantasy? I mean really how is one ever to feel secure in a relationship, that he had already with someone else? It must be the same questions the second wife will ask about the first. But what's the answer?

The truth behind it is if you wishing to be the one, then it is all on his terms. You may not even know what the terms are. You are currently playing in the dark.